Super Sunday!

A gloomy day where you just want to stay in your bed and not do anything throughout, where there is no hurry to get out. A typical description of a usual Sunday morning, but this one was different. It was a one where you just want to get out of bed and conquer the world! It was a "Super Sunday"!!

This "Super Sunday" as it is well know in the Premier League, had four of the biggest clubs in England playing against each other. It was the much awaited clash between Liverpool and Manchester United, followed by Arsenal playing against the rich Manchester City. It was a Sunday where a country which is united by one religion, played a country which brought it to them; the T20 world cup match between India and England! Being a 'sporty' Sunday, unlike the other lazy ones, the boys decided to go to a club to watch the games.

Impatiently, the boys waited for the projector to start and the channel to be arranged. United had already kicked off the match 2 minutes earlier, and the controversial handshake between Evra and Suarez was missed! Thankfully in an advanced world of smart phones, they knew nothing much had happened in those 2 minutes; but still they kept waiting for the match to come on the 160cm screen. The commentary was heard followed by a small applause, a sudden silence and all eyes towards the screen. 'The Red Devils', in their white away kits, were being dominated by 'the reds' at Ainfield. 12 minutes into the game and Liverpool are in United's half, closing in towards the goal. Gerrard is awaiting a pass and just when he turns with the ball at his feet, a sudden shout of disappointment echos. All the heads are turned towards the management, the screen has gone off! A look of panic on the faces of each and everyone present there, but the channel has still not started! He gets up running towards the manager, aggressively asking him to do something! Some tension is sensed between the two and he is forced to go and talk to a senior lady in the lobby. On one side the match, which has still stayed 0-0, is going on and the other he has to get the alcohol and food serving started! Already the 35th minute and a Liverpool player is being sent off! The match being more important he decides to accept defeat against the management and runs to the bar. Liverpool down to 10, but still for the major part of the 45 minutes, they were keeping the United's defense on its toes! The first half was over, beer and starters had just been ordered and the temperature in the bar had cooled down. The infamous hair-dryer treatment of the United manager was being mocked along with some match analysis.

The referee blew his whistle for Liverpool to begin the second half. It started as the first half ended with Liverpool closing in towards the United goal, 51 seconds had passed and that same shout of disappointment was heard. This time it wasn't the projector, it was Stevie G who had put the ball past Lindegaard and ran towards the crowd to celebrate his goal which came from a half volley. Everyone went back to their drink and waited for the game to commence again. Nani has been replaced by the evergreen Paul Scholes who is known for changing the game and controlling the mid-field. United need a goal, and they need it fast if they want to be in the game which, for the major part has been controlled by their bitter rivals. The attack has started and only Ferdinand and Evans are seen behind the half line. Kagawa has passed the ball to United's right back Rafael who plays it down to Valencia and runs into the box. The ball has been crossed to Kagawa and he heads it back to Rafael. Onto his left foot, from a very tight angle a shot is taken, everyone is up from their seats and a huge cheer is accompanied with an applause and a unanimous, "come on!!!". Rafael, proud, is showing off his batch to the fans who, if not as much, had at least a similar amount of adrenaline rush flowing through them! 1-1 the score line and a smile and a sigh of relief on their faces. A not very tight or heated game as the others we have seen in the past, but still being watched with the same amount of eagerness. Both team trying to break the dead-lock and vying for those 3 points they will get for winning the game. The importance of the 3 points, known to none better than two of the most successful clubs in England. Entering the last 10 minutes of the game, United have started another attack, Valencia sprinting with the ball at his feet. A few old uncles, a family of four and some other couples have entered the bar, which was much dominated by the boys, is now being threatened by a crowd who have come to watch their God play against England. An argument to change the channel is going on at a corner while Valencia has taken the ball near Liverpool's d-line and three United players are moving into the 6 yard box. The uncles who are refusing to budge and go to another room to watch the cricket match are forcing the waiter to switch the sport. More than half his attention is in the game but he has to fight if he wants it to go on. "Yes! Yes yes yes!" is being heard in the background and the argument has been stopped. He walks towards the screen to see Valencia has been nudged off by Glen Johnson and the referee has pointed to the spot. Liverpool players have surrounded him arguing he has made a wrong decision and in a similar situation, the boys have surrounded the uncle and the waiters pleading for the game to go on. The boys have moved towards the screen, every one on the edge of their seats, the argument is won, but the Liverpool players' pleas have gone in vain. Robin Van Persie has moved up to take the kick. 4th consecutive penalty which United have won, but three have already been missed in the respective matches. The drinks have been put down on the table, a sudden silence in a bar which hasn't been quiet at all evening. RVP running towards the ball, Reina has dived the right way, the power is too much for him and another cheer has brought the bar back to life! It seemed as though time had stopped for those two minutes and suddenly everything was resumed with celebration! The atmosphere completely changing with United leading 2-1 at Anfield! The rush was felt once again, and the uncles who just witnessed this also retired to their seats, knowing they were fighting for a lost cause! A nervy 90 minutes are just coming to an end and the board indicating an extra time of 5 minutes is shown. Liverpool who haven't given up are trying to get at least a one point by scoring an equalizer. The game's gone into the 96th minute, and everyone is screaming, "come one, blow the whistel!! Clear it clear it!" or could there be time for one last attack? But the referee has checked his watch, blown his whistle and ended the game! A 2-1 victory for United and 3 points, nothing more that they could ask for! Disagreeing with the result and calling it an unfair one, Liverpool fans and players alike, walked away with an expression which could be easily confused with a one someone would have had after being robbed or cheated.

The game was over and the uncles raised their voice again, asking the waiters to change  the channel to cricket. They had 30 minutes before Manchester City v/s Arsenal began on Star Sports. Eight overs had been bowled by England who had won the toss. Not paying much attention to the cricket game, the boys were arguing about the result, about which channel will be on on the projector and about what starter to order next! Being the majority, football had an upper hand, but the uncles arguing saying we are Indian and we should watch cricket instead of supporting England and their sport of football! Well but its the love for the beautiful game which overpowered the argument of being in Indian. The uncles having a look, similar to the one on the faces of the Liverpool players and fans, had walked away from the bar to allow the boys to carry on with their agenda! The love for one sport had  taken over the love for a religion followed by, I must add, 'almost'..everyone! It was like the moment when RVP scored that spot kick earning United their three points, there were cheers and a sigh of relief by the boys!

Manchester City v/s Arsenal a much more exciting game than the previous one or the cricket one going on in the adjacent room ended in a 1-1 draw but didn't miss the cheers, shouting and excitement of the boys! The other families, cursing but enjoying their country winning against a less favored England side. A Sunday, which otherwise would have been boring, accompanied with a a movie or a dinner, had transformed in to an (as expected) exciting Sunday, with two victories, one over Liverpool, and in a similar fashion, over the uncles! Both matches ended at almost the same time, with the uncles failing to understand how a 1-1- draw was an exciting game, deserving a telecast on the projector, over India's victory over England at the group stage of the T20 world cup.

Well all's well that end's well..the uncles, the boys and the staff all had one hell of a Sunday evening..a complete Super Sunday! 

In the Name of God!

Lokmanya Tilak, one of India's prominent freedom fighter, had a smart way of gathering crowds and starting protests. India is a country home to a number of Gods and Lokmanya Tilak used this to his advantage. He started a festival called Ganesh Chathurthi or Ganeshutsav where he would erect mandals with statues of Lord Ganesha inside and people would flock to these mandals to worship the god of wisdom. It was an excuse to gather people and explain to them their role in India's fight for freedom and how they should play their part! An excellent idea which sure did wonders. 

Its been sixty five years since India's freedom, but still every year, in either the month of August or September, whichever is more "auspicious", this festival is still celebrated. The reason given for the celebration now is that Lord Ganesha bestows his presence to his devotees on earth for 10 days. Day 1 known as Ganesh Chathurti and day 10, the day he leaves, known as Anant Chaturdashi. Nothing wrong in believing in God coming to visit you for 10 days and celebrating his arrival. Whats wrong is the manner in which it is done. 

Its the month of September, and huge mandals are being erected on busy roads, in small lanes, to house Lord Ganesha for 10 days. Ganesh Chathurthi  is still 9 days away, but the mandals are being prepared in full zest. So the lord still hasn't arrived, but these mandals are built, blocking two lanes of a three lane road. Well this road is blocked, let me go try another route, but (not) to my surprise, there is a mandal there too, and now that two lane road which I took to avoid the traffic jam on the three lane road, has become a one lane road, and I am not going to make it to work on time or in time for my movie, date, match or my favorite tv show! That's not it my friend, there is more to this festival than meets the eye! On the fourth or fifth day of the festival, Lord Ganesha's parents, Lord Shiva and Parvati, come to pay him a visit. So they too are welcomed and got to the mandals and placed there and next day his parents leave and they are taken through the streets in a procession accompanied with dancing, singing, and fanfare to be immersed in a river or the sea symbolizing a ritual see-off; symbolizing more traffic, more noise pollution and much more of me missing dinner with my family. But well, its done in the name of God, so all political parties, police men and other governmental bodies are helping these processions, after all they might be "blessed" with a few extra votes. Moreover, Lord Ganesha can leave after one and half days, three days, seven days or after 10 days! So on all of these days, there is going to be a procession taking him through the streets, along with him, loud speakers, people dancing and throwing colors around. So if you are not participating in the ritual, even if you are an atheist, it doesn't matter, you are going to be pulled into the celebrations! Now comes the worst part of the so called festival done to welcome God. Each of the mandals are made by collecting hafta, or in decent words donations from all the people living in that locality and if you refuse to pay this "donation" the same people who are erecting the mandal and preparing to bring in god, might just force the hafta out of you in a rather unfriendly manner. Knowingly or unknowingly you are paying for the celebration of a festival backed by the local government body, and you might not even want to be a part of it! But you dare not rise up against it, or try to provide a more workable solution which will ease the flow of traffic, crowd and all the processions, because you are rising up against thousands of people who blindly believe in the festival and are doing it to keep their god happy! The very same thousand people, who for 10 days will perform various poojas for their god and on the very 11th day get back to spitting on the road, beating their wives up after consuming excessive volumes of alcohol, forcing their kids to drop out of school just so that they can work and get extra money in the house! You would be protesting against the media, who backs the festivals, has competitions and rewards the mandal with the best statue of the lord. Why reward the mandal?? I have also paid for the statue through the hafta they collected, give me a part of the prize money, put my name and photo in the paper!

So what initially started off as an excuse to fight freedom, has now become a commercial festival causing inconvenience, dirtier roads, beaches, water pollution and noise pollution.

Adding to the misery, this is just one festival. This month also includes the Bandra Fair which is held every year near the Mount Mary Church, causing the very same problems Ganesh Chathurhi is responsible for. Also it is the month of Pajushan for the Jains who for 10 days are going to sacrifice everything that gives them satisfaction, food, movies, alcohol, cigarettes etc and on the very 11th day go back to their normal everyday lives which involves substance abuse. But I have to sacrifice another year of cleaner roads, beautiful beaches, pedestrians walking on the footpath, traffic free commute. Aah it doesn't matter, the sacrifice is done in the name of god, maybe someday we will be rewarded and blessed by him coming to the earth for 15 days instead of 10, maybe my Jain friends will fast for 12 days instead of 10, maybe the Bandra Fair will be a round the year thing with a few more games and rides!

Looking forward to a month of festivities, followed by navratri, dassera, diwali, eid, christmas, holi, patethi...and a lot more. As i have pledged, "I love my country and I am Proud of its rich and varied heritage"

Bananas and Monkeys

Start with a cage containing five monkeys.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.
Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done round here.
And that, my friends, is how company policies are made.

There's always an occasion to drink!

And they all raised their glasses, "cheers" is all you could hear at a pretty empty (for a Saturday night) bar. But there were only four glasses raised among the five people who had come to enjoy a T20 match, which however was abandoned due to rain. He had decided earlier in the week that this month he wouldn't drink, unless a joyous occasion called for, but then too, only a couple of drinks, unlike his drunk escapades which were well heard off. "We are all drinking, just drink, we all know you want to drink" his friends tried to convince him, but no, he wouldn't budge! They called for a few starters, peanuts and masala papad, while he sat there turning the pages of the menu. He picked up a couple of peanuts but something was missing; it just didn't feel right! Were the peanuts less salty, were they stale? Then came the masala papad, but that too didn't taste the same! Something was wrong, aah, the alcohol! He looked around to see all his friends, have a sip of their respective drinks and munch on the food. For him too, the peanuts were always accompanied by a sip of a chilled beer, or a cuba libre! That was what was missing, the alcohol! "Aah! F*ck this sh!t, get me a large whiskey, 3 ice cubes and water please." were the exact words that came out of his mouth! A number of excuses were then stated as to why he wasn't drinking earlier and what made him change his mind, but they all knew, sooner or later he was going to order his drink. One large whiskey was followed by another and another! What was going to be the night he wasn't going to drink, soon turned out to be the night where HE was convincing the others to go have a couple of shots at the bar!

It wasn't an occasion as such, but he had convinced himself that it was a night out with the boys, and well its not going to come back again, so might as well drink up! Surely a night he would remember, unlike the many that were forgotten or vaguely remembered, alcohol being the one to blame for those. Oh, of course he had mentioned while ordering his drink that he's just drinking on this day because they tried so hard to convince him and friends are difficult to turn down and he's done for the month, but he did receive a message the very next day asking him to join a few people he'd call bros to come and drink with them, to enjoy our youth was a reason mentioned! "I'll be there in 10" he replied.